Jest Abuse

Jest Abuse

If these types of exchanges aren’t harmful enough when done in private, imagine how someone feels when the same situation plays out in front of friends and family. On the outside, to some people, Sarah’s “joke” might seem light-hearted at best. It might make others feel uncomfortable and sorry for Jack because Sarah is mocking her husband’s attire in public. This simply adds to Jack’s sense of shame. The casual observer doesn’t know Jack battles with social anxiety so they might not be sensitive to how harmful the situation is and might actually join Sarah in her mocking.

Trick Abuse

Trick Abuse

“Are you telling me it’s not appropriate? Should I wear something different?” he said feeling paranoid. “No, it’s fine.” she responded. “Sarah, we’ve talked about this before, and you know it bothers me. You always make comments like this right before we go out. I’m already uncomfortable about going and now I get to spend the whole night feeling self-conscious. Stop stressing me out.”

Whats a boxers favorite drink? A punch🥤🥤

This is a way of letting you know that what you have done or expressed is insignificant and of little value.
Countering

Joss Abuse

Joss Abuse

“No,” said Sarah as she put her shoes on while making a face that made it seem she wanted to say yes. “I just think it’s funny you think that suit is appropriate for a wedding.”

You can’t abuse a aligator.

What abuse can a human use that a dog can't ?
Son of a bitch
A judge is hearing a child abuse case...
The mother was found guilty and the judge had decided that the boy would go to live with his estranged father.

His dad goes to the old lad...
How many substance abuse counselors does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

Fun Abuse

Fun Abuse

“Is that what you’re going to wear to the wedding?” said Sarah to her husband Jack.

Jack looked down at his suit, now embarrassed. He was already stressed about going to the wedding with the group who’d be there. Social events like this made him anxious. Sarah knew that. “Is there something wrong with my outfit?”

It does not matter how light or mild a “joke” seems to the abuser. If the recipient of the joke does not like it or seems uncomfortable with it, it should not be made.

why does my dad hate me ? really please tell me im tired of the constant abuse and pain.

Jokes Abuse

Jokes Abuse

Have you ever wondered when a “good” joke crosses the line? Have you ever been on the receiving end of a “joke” that felt more like a punch in the gut? Have you ever felt that people are overly sensitive to the jokes that you say? In today’s blog, we share a story about a couple, Jack and Sarah. In this story, “joking” causes great harm. We are hoping that as the story unfolds you will begin to understand when “joking” is a form of covert emotional abuse.

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad but I only remember the punch line.

Sex Jest

"Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

A guy's talking to a girl in a bar.
He asks her, "What's your name?"
She says, "Carmen."
He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?"
She says, "No, I named myself."
He says, "Why Carmen?"
She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?"
He says, "Beerfuck."

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy.

Why can't you hear rabbits making love? Because they have cotton balls.

A guy takes his girlfriend to his bedroom, drops his pants, and says, "Meet my little brother." The girlfriend picks up her purse on the way out and says, "Call me when he grows up."

A patient says, “Doctor, can I get AIDS from a toilet seat?” The doctor replies, “Yes, but only by sitting down before the last guy gets up.”

One night, Penis and Balls were sitting in a couch. Penis said to Balls, "We are going to a party. Balls said, "F*ck off, you always leave me knocking."

Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone. He is now playing the whore-Monica.

A lady sitting in the dentist chair told the dentist, "I would rather go through the pain of child birth than have you drill in my mouth." The dentist replied, "Well, you had better make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some marijuana.
Jack and Jill slipped down the hill and asked Jill if she wanna.
She said "Yes" and dropped her dress and had a little fun.
Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a vacuum?
A: A cocksucker.

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy and asked him, "Can I touch it?" He replied, "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

Q: What's the difference between a voyeur and a thief?
A: A thief snatches your watch.

 

Mom said joe can i have a shower with you tonight? yes honey but don't look up!
when they got in the shower joe looked up and asked what is that mum? mom said
it is Tokyo!the next day the same thing happened but this time he asked his dad
when they took a shower he looked up and asked what is that? it is a huge dinosaur! that night he asked both his parents can i sleep with you tonight? sure they said so they all hopped in bed and joe looked under the covers and said OH NO THE DINOSAUR IS ATTACKING TOKYO!

Sex Jest

Sex Joke

Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A: Santa stops after three hos.

Four nuns are in line to go into heaven. God asks the first nun if she has ever sinned. She says, "Well, I've seen a penis." So God puts holy water on her eyes and lets her enter. He asks the second nun the same thing and she says, "I've held a penis," so he puts holy water on her hands and lets her enter. Then the fourth nun skips the third nun in line and God asks why she did that. The 4th nun replies, "Well, I need to gargle it before she sits in it."

Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.

Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, "Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town." The old man says, "We're from Nebraska." Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, "What did he say, papa?" The old man answers her, "He asked us where we are from." "Oh," replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires. When that's all done, the attendant tells the old man, "You know, the worst piece of ass I ever had was from Nebraska." The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, "What did he say, papa?" The husband replies, "He thinks he knows you, mama."

One day little Johnny walked out of his bedroom with his suitcase packed. His dad asked him where he was going and Johnny replied, "Last night I heard you say that you were pulling out and mommy said she was coming too. I didn't want to be left behind!"

A 96-year old man is pleading with the doctor for a lower sex drive. "Surely you're imagining things," says the doctor. "You're 96 years old. Isn't all the feeling for sex just in your head?" "Yes," replies the elderly man, "that's why I want you to lower my sex drive to the place where it might do more good."

What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.

If blackbirds make baby blackbirds and bluebirds make baby bluebirds, what kind of bird makes no baby bird? Swallows.

She said if I bought her cute underwear I could see her wearing it. I told her: “If I buy you nothing, can I see you wearing that.”

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed.

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup. I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."

Women think about sex every 7 seconds. Just not with you.

Sex operator: "Mmmm tell me what you're wearing."
Eskimo: "Everything I own basically."

Jokes about sex: Why do bunnies have soft sex? Women think about sex every 7 seconds. You're 96 years old. Isn't all the feeling for sex just in your head?

Condoms Jokes

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

 

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

 

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

 

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

What's the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Condoms have evolved: They're not so thick and insensitive anymore.

 

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I'd like a bag. I said "nah, I'll just turn the lights off."

 

China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile, but because their condoms are 'Made in China'.

 

For my next trick I need a condom and a volunteer...

A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, "Depends on what's in it for me."

My birth certificate was a letter of apology that my dad got from the condom company…

 

What does a condom and a husband have in common? They both got used and thrown out.

 

Have you heard about the new supersensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman.

 

Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called dads.

 

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.

 

What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.

 

"Don't kid yourself" would be a great slogan for a condom company.

 

Condoms are for fucking pussies.

 

Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom? "They'll never see you coming."

 

“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, "Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, what is shit?" and she says, "Perfume." So he goes to see his dad (who is carving a chicken), and his dad cuts himself and yells, "Fuck!" The boy asks, "Dad, what does fuck mean?" and dad says "preparing." Then he follows his dad upstairs. A few minutes later his mom and dad are about to have sex when his dad says, "Where are the condoms?" The little boy asks, "What are condoms?" and his father says, "Condoms are coats and jackets." The following night his father invites over some important business clients. The boy opens the door for them and says, "Hello! Please come in, Bastards and bitches. Hang your condoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is downstairs fucking the chicken.”

Jokes about sex.

 

Jokes about blow job

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

An old couple returning from florida cross the border.
The customs agent
ask the man "did you buy anything while in the US.
the man answers no.
the man's wife asks her husband "what did he say?".
the man tells his wife
"the agent wants to know if we bought anything".
the customs agent asks
the man where he is from. the man answers "toronto".
the man's wife says
"what did he say?" the man tells his wife "he wanted to know where we were
from. the agent says to the man " i was in toronto once, i had the worst
sex ever in my life in toronto."
the man's wife says "what did he say?"
the husband tells his wife "he thinks he knows you dear."

Railroad. A man is telling his friend of a recent experience: "I was walking along beside the railway line" he says, "When I saw this girl tied to the tracks. Well, naturally I freed her, pulled her off the tracks and ended up having sex with her all night." "Did you get a blow job?" asks his friend. "No!" he says, "I never did find the head."

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office.
But she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a Ł100 if you let me have sex with you."
But the girl said, "NO."
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend...
So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for Ł200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal.
Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.
She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job.
The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar.
The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you?
The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!

The wife is back on the warpath again.
I suggested that we make a little sex tape ...
she was up for it ...
until I suggested holding auditions.
I just don’t understand why she is so mad!

Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A: Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York.
At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady.
What are both men thinking?
Don't look down.

Jokes about blow job: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving. Did you get a blow job?"

Dildo Jokes

What do a dildo and soybeans have in common? They're both used as a meat substitute.

 

A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

 

What do tofu and dildos have in common? They're both meat substitutes.

 

But for the most part, phallic culture remains incoherent. Men are pilloried for exposing their dicks, while Euphoria is celebrated for its 30-penis episode; dick pics are critiqued like Picassos or seen as a public menace; judging a man by the size of his penis is perfectly acceptable or grossly objectifying; porn covers every inch of the internet, yet Facebook won’t accept ads for dildos. Dick jokes are still looked down on as cheap—to be fair, some of them are blatantly bad—but some comics say that isn’t always fair.

 

So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around.
He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him.
He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter.
He explained his situation, the old man.
"Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except …" said the old man, and then he stopped.
"Except what?" asked the businessman.
"Nothing, nothing," said the old man.
"C'mon, tell me! I need something!" protested the businessman.
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick,'" the old man said.
"So what's up with this voodoo dick?" the businessman asked.

 

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols.
He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo.
The businessman laughed, and said, "Big fucking deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"
The old man said, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."
He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door."
The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole.
The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle.
Before the door could split, the old man said, "Voodoo dick, get back in your box!"
The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent once more.
The businessman said, "I'll take it!"
The old man resisted and said it wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash.
The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say, "Voodoo dick, my pussy."
He left for his trip satisfied things would be fine while he was gone.

 

After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny.
She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said "Voodoo dick, my pussy!"
The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping.
It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting.
She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked.
Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off.
So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo.

 

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex.
He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her.
All these years she had no clue.
One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo.
She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!"
He said, "Explain the kids!"

 

Jokes about sex.

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