Sex jokes - Kiss

A husband and wife are walking down the street when a beautiful young woman blows the husband a kiss.
‘I met her last week,’ explains the husband.
‘Professionally of course.’
The wife replies, ‘Which profession?
Yours or hers?’

Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.

What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.

What do nostalgic gynaecologists do?
Look up old friends.

Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time.

Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.

Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.

What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.

What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!

How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself?
He’s smoking a cigarette.

Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.

‘Bisexuality immediately doub

les your chances for a date on Saturday night.’
Rodney Dangerfield

- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."

how come blondes don't wear tampons?
so their crabs don't go bungie jumping.

A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former
buddies at work about the operation.
"Was it painful?" someone asked.
"Well,"she said.
"There was one part that was extremely painful."
"I bet I know what
part was so painful," someone else said.
"I bet it was when they cut off your
balls," they said.
"No," she said.
"I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a
thing."
"Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another
person offered.
"No," she said.
"I was sedated then too, and didn't feel
anything."
"Then what part of the operation was so painful?"
They wanted to
know.
"Well," she said.
"After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in
my ear and sucked out half of my brains."

Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend.
‘Y’ know,’ he says.
‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student.
‘Well,’ replies Nigel.
‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’



Print