Jokes about sex - Clitoris

What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road.
He stops.
And he asks him:
- Hey, What happens to you?
- (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car.
- Well, don't care and buy another car.
- Look inside the car!
- Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all.
- Look inside her mouth!!!



One day a women walks into work in a short skirt.
As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says,
“Your hair smells really nice today.”
She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office.
She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened.
The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?”
Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”

Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem?
A: Father's Day.



The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.

What did the elephant say to the nude man?
‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’

One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on.
The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him.
"What you staring at, old man?
Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?"
"Yeah. I screwed a parrot once.
I was wondering if you were my son?"

Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom.
The husband turned to his wife and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it's best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."
"I'm so relieved you feel that way," replies his wife, "because he told me he thinks you're really cute."

An old couple decide to get married after years of courting.
They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex.
‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée.
‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’
‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom.
‘Was that one word or two?’

Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.

What did Adam say to Eve?
‘Stand back!
I don’t know how big this thing gets!’

What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’?
About three inches.

 

 


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