Day Sex Jokes - 2020.02.05

Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.


The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.

Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.


How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
When his hand caught fire.


This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He
decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her.
When he looked in his
mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing
herself and saying"I need a man, I need a man"
So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again,
but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it
out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in
bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his
clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying "I
need a bike, I need a bike"!!!!!

Let's not mess with nature.
We are here to make babies.
So, let's get to it.

Is it still rape if you yell 'Surprise!' first?

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.