This joke may contain profanity.
A Valentine’s Day Poem
Roses are black,
Violets are black,
I can’t see shit,
Fuck.
Mike walked into a Post Office just before Valentine’s Day
He couldn’t help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.
This joke may contain profanity.
What did you get your girlfriend for Valentine's day?
A T-shirt and a vibrator. If she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!
This joke may contain profanity.
My boyfriend is getting me a dildo cast from his own penis for Valentine's day...
We're only doing small gifts this year.
People tend to give teddy bears as gifts for Valentine's Day.
The standard teddy or panda bears seem popular this year. I've got my girlfriend a koala bear because she loves them.
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.
He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
Is that Cupid’s arrow in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
Tonight, I’m gonna put the V in your Valentine, if you know what I’m sayin’
Your heart isn’t the only one of your organs I want to touch tonight.
From the dirty to the tongue in cheek – here are some jokes you can include in your cards to inject a bit of humour into your Valentine’s Day.
I like your style I like your class but most of all I like your ass.
Red lipstick kiss Get saucy with your Valentine…
Valentines day is one big scam. If someone loves you they should show you everyday! To all the single people on Valentine's Day, don't be sad. Think of all the Money and time you are saving on not getting a gift Valentines day..... A day when taken people get laid and single people get drunk. That awkward moment when valentines day is around the corner, and the only person that loves you is your mom.
Naughty Valentine’s Day poems and jokes
