The best Valentines day jokes

If he's busy on Valentines Day, the side chick is you! What did the painter say to her boyfriend? "I love you with all my art!" What do single people call Valentine's Day? Happy Independance Day What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has a date on Valentine's day. What's the best part about Valentines Day? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? It was Valenswine's Day!

What is the true purpose of Valentine's Day? To remind single people they are single. Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration? Because you can really party hearty! What did one oar say to the other? "Can I interest you in a little row-mance?" What did the pencil say to the paper? "I dot my i's on you!"

Best thing about covid is I dont have to spend $300 on Valentine's day dinner this year.
Worst thing is the dead wife.

Best thing about covid is I dont have to spend $200 on Valentine's day dinner this year.
Worst thing is the dead wife.

Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl?
A: Her-She Kisses.

I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

The best jokes for Valentine’s Day

Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a holiday? Because you can truly spend your soul!

The best part of Valentine’s Day wedding is to live up to your expectations. Because you have no expectations.
What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?

This joke may contain profanity.
Seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day I popped the question this morning to my girlfriend.
“So you gonna take it up the arse or what then?”
In Latin America, Valentine's Day is called “The Day of Love and Friendship”
Because you want love, but she wants friendship

Got my girlfriend a toilet for Valentine’s Day
Didn’t want to deal with her shit anymore.
For valentine's day, I gave my wife a back-rub.
I told her, "Wow, they did a good job... when they removed your wings."
I kissed her forehead and whispered, "They did a good job on the horns too!"

Valentine's day, Imagin how many people will be shaving tonight.


Print