If he's busy on Valentines Day, the side chick is you! Valentines Day shouldn't be the only day you place a girl above everything else Tomorrow is Valentine's day. Don't worry if you're single. You're going to die alone anyway! I can't wait for valentines day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone and that special someone is me.
My girlfriend wants me to take her somewhere that they make they food right in front of you for Valentine’s.
Subway here I come...
For Valentine's Day my girlfriend told me to give her nine inches and make it hurt...
... so I fucked her twice and hit her with a rock.
My buddy just got kicked out of his house. His wife was hinting at Valentine's day plans and asked him if he knew her favorite flower.
"Gold Medal All Purpose" apparently wasn't the answer.
My wife told me "For Valentine's Day, nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace"
So I got her nothing.
For Valentine's Day my girlfriend told me to give her nine inches and make it hurt...
... so I fucked her twice and hit her with a rock.
A man and a woman on Valentine's day :
W: Where are you taking me to dinner tonight?
A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones.
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns.
The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor.
He added a card and proceeded home.
After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift.
She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder."
With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."
Wife on Valentine's day...
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? "I'm sweet on you!" What did the paper clip say to the magnet? "I find you very attractive." What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day? A hug and a quiche! What did one pickle say to the other? "You mean a great dill to me." Knock, Knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you! What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? "I love you a ton!" What did the bat say to his girlfriend? "You're fun to hang around with."
