Sex jokes - Viagra

I overdosed on Viagra once. The hardest day of my life.

I took a viagra the other day. It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck.

What do you do when you find out Viagra isn't working for you? You go Cialis!

Q: What's the difference between the first honeymoon and the second?
A: First honeymoon, Niagara. Second honeymoon, Viagra.

An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half.
The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?"
The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

The next day the woman walks in ecstatic telling the therapist the viagra worked, and she and her husband had the best sex ever.
She asks her therapist what would happen if she gave her husband two pills?
The therapist replies she dosn’t know but says to go ahead and try it.

A week later a boy walks into the therapists office and asks: "Are you the “idiot” who gave my MOTHER a bottle of Viagra?"
"Why yes young man I did?"
"Why?"
"Well mom’s dead, my sister’s Pregnant, my  A–  Hurts, and Dad just sits in the corner going, 'here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty…'”

A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra.
Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."

An elderly black man goes to see his doctor for help with his sexual performance issues.
The doctor explains that Viagra isn't going to work this time.
The man goes back to the doctor a month later for a follow-up.
This time he is wearing a new tuxedo, shined shoes, and a top-hat.
The doctor is impressed and asks what the occasion is.
The old man says, "If I'm gonna be impotent I'm gonna look impotent!"

A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life.
The doctor recommends Viagra.
They come back and see him in a couple of weeks.
The doctor says "how was the Viagra?"
The wife says "great I love it."
Husband says "I like it but it has some side effects, we're bared from McDonald's for life."

Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra?
A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.

An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra.
The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”
The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”

Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together.
Doctor: Well what's your problem madam?
Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue.
Doctor: What's wrong with it?
Mary: Examine it and you'll see.
Doctor: Why don't you just-
Mary: EXAMINE IT!
Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.)
Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth)
Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn.
Mary: Wow. I should have just asked.
Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable?
Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes....
Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums)
Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more!
Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can!
When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something.
Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before?
Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before.
Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.

A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra.
Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.

Viagra sex jokes: I don't want them for sex.  It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life. 


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