Jokes about sex #2021

Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving?
A: “Thanks for coming!”

Q: What is 6.9?
A: A really great thing ruined by a period.

What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''
''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.

A man walks into a bar. Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food. He looks up at the menu above the bar it says:
    Hot dog – $2
    Cheeseburger – $5
    Hand job – $10
He asks the waitress, “Miss are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” She winks and replies, “why yes I am.” He says, “Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.”

On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class “Which part of the body went to heaven first?”
One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God. The teacher praises the little girl.
Then a little boy raises his hand and says, “I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love. “Very good,” said the teacher.
The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny’s hand up. “Oh no”, she thought, “I’m not gonna like this. Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?”
Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, “Your feet.” The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first. He replied, “Well, I was walking past my parents’ bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, “Oh god, I’m coming!”

What are the three shortest words in the English language? Is it in?

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they won't stop to ask directions.

Men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born.

Masturbation always leads to sex. It's a gateway tug.

What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

Don't judge women by kilos, and you won't be judged by centimeters.

Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.

Your blow up date saw you naked, and self deflated.

Do you raise chickens? Because you raise my cock.

Any skirt looks good on the back of the chair.

Now I know why they call it a beaver, because I'm dying for your wood.

I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can't watch porn...

If you're slutty enough, every day can be Halloween.

Sex jokes #2021: It's sex with someone they love. Men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born. Masturbation always leads to sex.