Sex jokes - fuck like animals

Life's a jungle let's go to your place and fuck like animals!

In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another.

But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order.
So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did…

...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away.
Moral Lessons
1. Be kind to Animals
2. Always keep your thoughts clean...

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!

AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy?
Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work.
Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that?
Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time.
Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning?
Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you.
Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that?
Casey: yes you should try it.
NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING.
Casey: What happened to you?
Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it.
Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say?
Michael: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I would do you like a dog.

Programming is like sex
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Are you an elevator?
Cause I wanna go down on you.

Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’
Woman, ‘You might be.
Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’

I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.


Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.

What do you call men who use the pull out method?
Fathers.

Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"
    The nympho says, "Are you done already?"
    The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Hey, you wanna do a 68?
You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.

Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.

Q: What did dick say to rubber?
A: "Cover me I'm going in."

Sex jokes about animals: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up. So they started having sex with one another.


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