A brunette gets a bouquet of flowers for valentines day.
The other office women are admiring the flowers as they are delivered to her.
For Valentine's Day I was woken up with an awesome BJ!
If only I could be posting this in any other forum.
In Latin America, Valentine's Day is called “The Day of Love and Friendship”
Because you want love, but she wants friendship
What kind of chocolate do you get a snake for Valentine's Day?
Hershey's Hiss
I have a tip for all you lonely ladies on valentine's day..
Or you can just take the whole thing.
Had a great Valentine's Day! Almost had a threesome!
Just needed two more people!
The husband, typically unroman...
I ordered my girlfriend flowers on Valentine's day
that didn't arrive (or were stolen from the porch), so I gave her the delivery confirmation instead.
It was an Oedipal Arrangement.
The first looks confused "Don't you have a vase you could put them i...
What did the French baker buy his wife to surprise her on Valentine's day?
BOO-lingerie
'Great!' the man replies, 'I'll take eight.'
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
Do you think skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental.
A woman was taking a nap on Valentine's Day afternoon. After she awoke, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a gorgeous and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine's Day! What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled "The Meaning of Dreams."
What did the Valentine's Day card say to the stamp? "Stick with me and you'll go places!"
Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? "It was Valenswine's Day!"
“We’re a perfect match!”
Dos and Don'ts for Valentine’s Day jokes
What did the ice cream chocolate syrup say to her? “I’m sweet to you!”
What does Valentine’s Day squirrel offer? Watch me, nuts.
What did the magnet clip tell him? I find you very attractive.
