Funny Christmas SEX Jokes (VIDEO)

"Better wrap that present up before you give it to me."

Of course, there are things that live in the dark corners of the internet that could land you on Santa’s naughty list for life. So, you may not want to go poking around too much. Luckily, we’ve gone ahead and rounded up some NSFW, adults-only jokes that’ll have you spit-laughing out that eggnog come the holidays. So relax, unwind, and, enjoy these funnies responsibly.

Interested in more Christmas fun? We’ve got a bunch of jolly pages, which include Christmas riddles, Nightmare Before Christmas quotes, Christmas games, and more!

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets the credit.

Merry Christmas, you guys. If you're on the naughty list, we hope these jokes filled you with some cheer.

We might not be Santa’s actual helpers, but with these 30 Christmas-themed pickup lines, you’ll have some solid one-liners to whip out in no time.

If you're like me, you like to capitalize on any special occasion to spice things up. The holidays are the perfect time to give your bedroom talk a little Christmas cheer and make things as entertaining at the movie Christmas Vacation and as hot as some mulled wine.

"When I think about you I touch my elf."

Interested in more Christmas fun? We’ve got a bunch of jolly pages, which include Christmas riddles, Nightmare Before Christmas quotes, Christmas games, and more!

Say your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas… Can I visit between the holidays?

Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus? He was obsessed with getting the cookie.

Christmas Pick-Up Lines Part

Wanna sit on the North Pole tonight?

Want to climb into my warm and fuzzy cloak?

Are you interested in seeing the “North Pole”?

Santa jokes adults

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it soots him.

Q: What do a train set and boobs have in common?
A: They were both made for kids but dads can't help playing with them.

The man replied, "These are Carol's."

(Just remember that, like all things, it's important to make sure these lines are used consensually. Only use 'em when you know they'll be received well, especially the super-sexual ones. Because you KNOW we have some of those.)

Here is a definitive list of the best Christmas-themed dirty talk phrases

"I've been extra good this year."

"Cum, they told me. Parumpum pum pum."

 

 

Christmas Santa Sex Jokes Video


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