Jokes - sex about neighbors

The sex was so good that even the ors had a cigarette.

I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch.
My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner!
My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50!
I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.!
"What do you mean," they asked me.
"I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."

Sex is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.

This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession.
The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?"
The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors."
The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure."
The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"

Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.

A beautiful woman sits next to a drunk in a bar.
He turns to her and says, ‘Hey, honey.
How about you and me getting it on?
I’ve got a couple of pounds and it looks like you could use the money.’
The woman turns to him and says, ‘What makes you think I charge by the inch?’

Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.

There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL convertible.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.



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