101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes Quotes by Various - bedroom

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

Life is sexually transmitted.

I'm always frank with my sexual partners. Don't want them knowing my real name.

Silence doesn't mean your sexual performance left her speechless.

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited? He's breathing.

What sexual position makes the stupidest babies? I don't know either, go ask your mama.

My favorite sexual position: The Chilean miner. That's where you go down on me and stay there till Christmas.

My sexual experiences are much like my exams. A lot of nervous build up before hand, performance is rushed and the end results are often disappointing.

"I don't even think of myself as like, interested in telling penis jokes. I certainly wouldn't sit down and go, I'd love to do a show about penises," Novak says. "I think it’s more like an investigation of my heterosexuality. Does [being heterosexual] mean I love the penis? I'm interested in the language that I've been expected to use or accept as legitimate about the penis. Here's all the reasons that that's ridiculous."

Novak uses the blow job to critique cultural expectations of masculinity and the pressure women feel to become skilled at sexually pleasing men. "The teeth shaming starts early, of course," she says in her show. "If you have your full set of teeth…don’t go into a room where a penis is. It’s not safe for him. Why would you put him at risk?"

That Novak, a female comic, is revolutionizing the dick joke makes sense, considering that historically, "the vanguard for so-called dick jokes and sexual material comes first and foremost from women rather than men," Nesteroff says. He points to female comics Rusty Warren, Belle Barth, Pearl Williams, and LaWanda Page as "probably the four quote-unquote 'dirtiest' comedians of the '50s and '60s, more so than Lenny Bruce, more so than Redd Foxx."

"I probably owe a debt to Philip Roth that I'm not even fully aware of," says Novak, who is Jewish. She references him directly in her show, joking, "I went off to college feeling good. It’s a Catholic-ish college. Lots of virgin boys scurrying around, scrambling for sexual experience at parties. Not me. I’m a Jew and I did the coursework in high school, so I felt like a Philip Roth figure. A Jewish pervert ready to teach."

There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, "am I sexual?" & they're like, "yeah."

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest.
"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."
"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.
"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.
"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.
"Thanks, Father," said the old man.
"That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"
"Of course, my son," said the priest.
The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?".

I can't see the point of going to a lap-dancing club.
If I wanted a woman who would take my money and sexually frustrate me, I would get married.

Sexual jokes about sex: Novak uses the blow job to critique cultural expectations of masculinity and the pressure women feel to become skilled at sexually pleasing men. My favorite sexual position: The Chilean miner. That's where you go down on me and stay there till Christmas. My sexual experiences are much like my exams.


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