A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?"
And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed."
"Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?"
And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make."
"And what is the name of this position?"
"You know, imagine the missionary position."
Which is the most confusing day in America?
80% don't know whom to wish.
Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died?
A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.
They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them."
And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
She’s got her very own method of birth control.
She takes her make-up off.
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican?
A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’.
I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful.
As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years."
Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it.
Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex.
No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
Kamasutra sex jokes: ex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink. he male sex has two hobbie. ecause he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex.