Farce Abuse

Farce Abuse

For others, they may have long-held cultural beliefs, such as the belief that some individuals are better than others, and therefore it’s okay to make fun of the “lesser” people. In some societies, individuals are seen as less-than because of their gender, background or financial status.

One time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room.

I would slap you , but that would be animal abuse.

Bill’s had a tough week, so he decides to have a little fun
It was Friday evening, it had been payday and Bill had really had a tough week.

So on leaving the office, he decided that instead of going home, he would stay out for the entire weekend partying with his buddies and in the process blow his entire weeks salary.

How do you know your Dad’s been fucking your sister? He’s dick tastes funny…

The doctor asking why Ive broken 19 bones in the past week

My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!

well what am i gonna do now…

What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!


What do you call a girl that broke up with her boyfriend because of abuse?
A hit single.
upvote downvote report
For an experiment, my son as been wearing a different Manchester United top for two weeks. So far he's been spat at, verbally abused, and punched...
God knows what will happen to him when he leaves the house.
upvote downvote report
How do you subtly hint that you are being abused?
Beats me.

You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.

A brain eats cheddar cheese

Hate me all you want but I rather love bullying in all fairness, I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.

After years of abuse, people talking down on me for being unstable, using me, stepping over me, putting me down, i finally became stable. And it only took one nice guy and a folded coaster.
Singed, the table.

Have you heard the one about the dwarf who abuses his tall wife?
It's a little offensive.

But a real knee slapper.

I called the Child Abuse Hotline
A kid answered, called me a fat cunt, and told me to fuck off.
3 people die and go to hell
3 people go to hell for alcoholism, drug abuse and sodomy. God visits them and says they'll be given one more chance at life, they'll be sent back to their bodies and be given a chance to continue their lives as they were, as long as they stop behaving their old ways. If they still did they would di...

What's the difference between Drugs and kids?
I don't abuse drugs.

Me: If you get to know one of your friends harasses women when he sees them alone, does drugs, throws stones at stray animals and laughs at their misery, gets into fights for no reason, abuses his girlfriend and bunks classes, would you still talk to h...

What do you call an adult that abuses animals and wants to be in a relationship with a child?
A PETA-phile.
upvote downvote report
I like my craft beers like I like my abuse...
Domestic


I like to abuse drugs.
Nothing more satisfying than tying up the bottle, smacking it around a bit, and calling it a very naughty pill.

(X post) After many abuses, the horse finally rebelled from the lack of food.
It was the last straw.

Saw a woman on a bike yesterday.
As she cycled towards me I couldn't help myself and shouted at her.

"COW!"

She cycled on but turned her head to shout some abuse at me, effing and blinding for a solid twenty seconds, before riding in to the side of a cow.

I was only trying to help.

So my dad always abused me as a kid...
..but I knew it wasnt his fault. I wasnt gonna abuse him back, I was gonna abuse what made him do that to me.

I threatened a cop and then he cut my electricity
It was a real abuse of power

Did you hear about the contractor who abused the offer for a free kitchen counter top?
He took it for granite.

Many people assume that verbal abuse is just about swearing.  And some go one step further by thinking that swearing is only abusive if it’s attached to name-calling. If they didn’t call you an #@$%ing [insert], then they haven’t been abusive.

And on the flip side, the person at the receiving end feels upset but minimises what’s happened.  “Swearing is normal adult behaviour, right?”  “Swearing isn’t abusive.”  I can hear you say; “I swear.”

You might do.
More Than Four Letter Words

And you’re right, swearing, in and of itself isn’t abusive. It’s the context in which it is used and the other associated actions that go with it.  Verbal abuse is a complex and often subtle mix of behaviours.

So much so, that you might be verbally abused regularly and not realise.

For example, if your partner does not usually swear, but the four-letter words come when you are holding them to account, that’s a warning sign.
Red Herring No. 1

So, although as an adult, you question when you experience this behaviour, the child part of you remembers this behaviour as usual. What you will notice as a result is the confusion and anxiety of feeling upset and legitimately angry while at the same time minimising your partner’s behaviour.
The Impact of Verbal Abuse

But, just like any other form of abuse or bullying, verbal abuse has a lasting impact.

Ordering is controlling and denies your autonomy, e.g. “You’re not wearing that out with me.”
Why Recognising Verbal Abuse Is Important

Recognising the signs of verbal abuse is essential.  You may begin to get an answer to your, stress, anxiety or depression which you may have put down to work, parenting, money or other everyday stressors.  Knowledge and understanding are the first steps in making a change.

Recognising verbal abuse is also important because research has shown that verbal abuse is an indicator of the likelihood of physical violence in a relationship.  That may never happen in your relationship, but, it’s essential to know the signs.

Abusers tend to use sarcastic humor and make fun of other people – but they rarely if ever poke fun at themselves.

Over time his ridicule and put-downs can severely damage your self-esteem, sense of self and integrity.

I froze mid-bite. He could see the hurt in my eyes. Instead of apologizing he feigned innocence, saying, “Oh, did I say something wrong?” He swore he didn’t mean it, but he never apologized. He instead blamed me, saying “Geez, I was just trying to help. You told me you wanted to lose five pounds. I can’t say anything to you. I’ll just keep my mouth shut.”

His sole purpose was to shock and wound me with his spiteful put-down.

Examples of verbal abuse disguised as jokes:

She‘s so funny; she burns everything she cooks.

She can’t find her way to the grocery store without a GPS.

Having a bad hair day?

You act just like your mother.

You would forget your name if it weren’t on your driver’s license.

He is saying, I can say whatever I want to say about you because I am “just” being funny.

We will also see that verbal abuse prevents real relationships. This seems obvious, but the partner of an abuser may live under the illusion that he or she has a real relationship. This may be for a number of reasons; an important one is that, as a couple, the abuser and their partner may function adequately in their respective roles. Verbal abusers generally experience many of their feelings as anger. For instance, if a verbal abuser feels unsure and anxious he may simply feel angry—possibly angry that he is feeling unsure and anxious. Yet part of being human is the ability to feel. The ability to feel, like the ability to think, is universal to humanity. Unfortunately, the abuser is generally unwilling to accept his feelings and unwilling to reveal them to a partner. He builds a wall between himself and his partner and maintains that distance.

In The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Patricia Evans identifies a number of categories of verbal abuse. Some are obvious, while others are more subtle:

Withholding.
Withholding is primarily manifested as a withholding of information and a failure to share thoughts and feelings. A person who withholds information refuses to engage with his or her partner in a healthy relationship. He or she does not share feelings or thoughts. When he or she does share anything, it is purely factual or functional information of the sort their partner could have looked up online, read on his or her Facebook wall, or figured out on their own. Examples of withholding communication that fail to engage the partner include: “The car is almost out of gas"; “The keys are on the table"; and “The show is on now.”

When he says these things to you, he is really saying, "I can say whatever I want to say about you, because I am 'just' being funny."

21 Signs You're In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Understand that the sole purpose of his hostile, disparaging humor is to victimize, belittle and insult you.

If you don’t react to his ridicule, he won't be able to control, dominate and power over you.
Here are 4 ways you can stop reacting to verbal abuse disguised as jokes:

Refuse to be drawn into his attempts to put you down.

Don’t acknowledge his excuses. Do not get into a debate with him.

Tell him you don’t appreciate being the butt of his humor, and you want him to you stop it.

And he needs to stop now. Don’t stick around waiting for his reply.

Ask him, “Do you feel better now?”

Then leave the room.

How can you recognize verbal abuse disguised as a joke? Here's the thing: a loving partner will never call you ugly or stupid, even as a joke. A respectful husband or wife won't ever deliberately put you down in front of other people for a laugh. That's because it's not funny, it's verbal abuse thinly disguised as a joke.
Verbal Abusers Disguise Abuse as Jokes

Over time his ridicule and put-downs can severely damage your self-esteem, sense of self and integrity.

RELATED: You Can Get PTSD From Staying In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

I should have paid attention the first time Dr. Dirtbag ridiculed me about my weight.

We were eating dinner in front of the TV, and out-of-the-clear-blue-yonder he said, “Ya know, the reason fat people are fat is they don’t know when to stop eating. Your plate is so clean when you get through eating I don’t even have to wash it.”

I froze mid-bite.

He could see the hurt in my eyes, but instead of apologizing he feigned innocence, saying, “Oh, did I say something wrong?”

He swore he didn’t mean it, but he never apologized. He instead blamed me, saying, “Geez, I was just trying to help. You told me you wanted to lose five pounds. I can’t say anything to you. I’ll just keep my mouth shut.”

His sole purpose was to shock and wound me with his spiteful put-down.
Subscribe to our newsletter.
Join now for YourTango's trending articles, top expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning.
Sign up now!
These are all examples of verbal abuse disguised as jokes.

His blaming statements are convincing, causing you to question your ability to reason. You wonder if you are over-reacting, and you doubt your own perception of his abuse.

In reality, his denial of your experience and your emotions only adds another layer to his abuse.

He makes comments about you in front of friends that mock or belittle you. He conceals his acrimony with a smug grin and laughter.

His public ridicule is unexpected. It throws you off balance, and it embarrasses and humiliates you.

Undermining.
Undermining is similar to trivializing, which consists of undermining everything the victim says or suggests, or making her question herself and her own opinions and interests.
article continues after advertisement

Threatening.
Threatening is a common form of verbal abuse and can be very explicit, such as, “If you don’t start doing what I say, I will leave you.” Or it can be more subtle, such as, “If you don’t follow my advice, others will find out that you are a very unreliable person.”

Name calling.
Name calling can be explicit or subtle. Explicit name-calling can consist in calling the victim of the abuse a “bitch” or other hurtful words. But it can also be more subtle, such as when someone says things that are implicitly hurtful, for instance, “You are such a victim,” or “You think you are so precious, don’t you?”

Forgetting.
The category of forgetting covers a range of issues ranging from forgetting a promise to forgetting a date or an appointment. Even if the abuser really forgot, it is still abuse, because he ought to have made an effort to remember.

Ordering.
Any form of ordering or demanding is a form of verbal abuse. It falls under the general issue of control. (See my previous post about controlling people.)

Denial.
Denial is abusive when it consists of denying one's bad behavior and failing to realize the consequences of this behavior. An abuser will always try to find a way to justify and rationalize his behavior. This is a way of denying that he has done anything wrong.

Verbal abuse disguised as jokes.
The abuser may say something very upsetting to the victim of the abuse and, after seeing her reaction add, “It was just a joke!” Abuse is not OK in any form; jokes that hurt are abusive.

Blocking and diverting.
Blocking and diverting is a form of withholding in which the abuser decides which topics are "good" conversation topics. An abuser practicing this form of abuse may tell the victim that she is talking out of turn or is complaining too much.

Accusing and blaming.
In these forms of abuse the abuser will accuse the victim of things that are outside of his or her control. He or she might accuse a partner of preventing them from getting a promotion because the partner is overweight, or ruining his or her reputation because the partner dropped out of college.

Judging and criticizing.
Judging and criticizing is similar to accusing and blaming but also involves a negative evaluation of the partner. As Evans points out, “Most ‘you’ statements are judgmental, critical, and abusive.” Some abusive judging and criticizing “you” statements are: “You are never satisfied"; “You always find something to be upset about”; and “No one likes you because you are so negative."

Trivializing.
Trivializing is a form of verbal abuse that makes most things the victim of the abuse does or wants to do seem insignificant. The abuser might undermine his or her work, style of dressing, or choice of food.

Understand, the sole purpose of his hostile, disparaging humor is to victimize, belittle and insult you. If you don’t react to his ridicule, he will not be able to control, dominate and power over you.

How to react to verbal abuse disguised as jokes.

Don’t get drawn into his attempt to put you down. Don’t acknowledge his excuses. Do NOT get into a debate with him.
Tell him emphatically, you don’t appreciate being the butt of his humor and you want him to you stop it—don’t stick around for his reply.
Tell him, “Do you feel better now?” and leave the room.
Ignore him and pick up your phone and call a friend or take a walk.

His denial of your experience of his abuse adds another layer to his abuse.

My husband knows that I do not like playing around with weapons. He has several knives, and he’ll smile and say, “I’ll cut you, woman” while slicing the knife through the air. He puts bread knives to our boys’ throats while holding their heads tight and says he is “just playing.”

I’m kind of jumpy, and I don’t like it when he scares me. I don’t mind if the kids jump out from behind a door, but if he does it, my heart races for minutes afterward! He scares me and then sneers and laughs. It’s mean. I’ve asked him to stop, but he won’t. Last night he pounded on the window right beside my desk and scared me so bad I pushed my rolling chair half-way across the room.

Sometimes he’ll make fun of me in a cruel manner in front of his friends. Then he’ll get up, throw his arms around me, and say “I didn’t mean it, honey! I’m just teasing you!”

Remember that these “how to” statements are to help you feel better and detach from your abuser’s antics. They do not guarantee that your abuser will stop abusing you, nor do they protect you from further abuse. You should fill out a safety plan so you know what you will do if things get out of hand.

This behaviour not only denies you emotional support, but overtime may erode your self-confidence and self-esteem.  Paradoxically your partner may tell you that you are undermining them when in fact they are projecting what they are doing.
Ordering

Critical statements made directly to you or others, either in your presence or behind your back (shaming and smearing) fall in this category. Criticism disguised as help or advice is also abusive.

As explained earlier.
Judging

Discounting is an attempt to deny your experience and reality.  Common discounting statements include, “You’re twisting things.”, “You’re too sensitive.” and, “You think you know it all, not everyone thinks like you.”  In effect, you’re being told that what you say has no value.
Blocking & Diverting

Threats are manipulative acts because they scare you and stop you in your tracks.  Usually, they involve loss and pain.  Your partner might, for example, threaten to leave you just before a momentous family occasion such as a special birthday party or a significant event in your child’s life.
Discounting

Everyone forgets from time to time, but consistently forgetting conversations and interactions which have an impact on you involves both denial (lies) and manipulation.
Trivialising

This behaviour includes sarcasm and laughing.  You’ll know when something doesn’t feel funny, or the circumstances don’t warrant a humorous response.  If you say, “I don’t think that’s funny.” and your partner responds with “I’m just trying to keep a smile on my face.” or “You just don’t have a sense of humour.” that’s a red flag.
Lying & Forgetting

And that feeling of not being good enough, doubt and despair lead to anxiety and depression.

When you grow up seeing certain behaviours, they become integrated into your psyche as ‘normal’.  But what’s normal isn’t necessarily healthy.

And this lack of responsibility may feel familiar.

Maybe you did.  You must take responsibility for your actions.  That said, more likely than not I imagine, this is a manipulative move to reinforce the abuse, deflect and avoid accountability.
Why Verbal Abuse Feels Normal

“But you swore too.”

As I have written about before anger is often a tool of control, leaving you feeling intimidated, anxious and stressed.
Red Herring No. 2

In a verbally abusive relationship, the partner learns to tolerate abuse without realizing it and to lose self-esteem without realizing it. She is blamed by the abuser and becomes the scapegoat. The partner is then the victim.

“I was angry.”

Lets put this one to bed.  This red herring is an attempt by your partner to blame you and hold you responsible for their behaviour.

He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He's still paying off his school loans.

So thats how I became a raging alcoholic.

My son is Traumatised by Years of Abuse
A bit long of a name maybe, but it fits him perfectly

Everyone complains about the abuse of power in America
but at least after the holidays all the lights are taken down.

A man brings his wife to his first domestic abuse support group
As they sit down, the man beside him leans over and whispers in his ear:

"You hittin' that?"
upvote downvote report
A woman is asked if her husband is an abuser
“Beats me,” she replied

I read the report on the sexual abuse of minors in the Catholic church
It seems that much of the abuse took place in the rectory.

His mom, steaming: OMG SHE MIGHT BE A RAPIST AND A CHILD ABUSER! LET'S GO SEE HER!!"

Hitler dies and is sent to hell.
He spends 30 earthly years there being tourtured and abused, going through worse than he even could imagine.

After this time, god calls him up for a talk, considering a pardon. He asks Hitler: "If I sent you back to earth today, what would you do?"

Hitler answers "I would load all the ...
I physically force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials,
just to show him how good he has it.

A thug starts harassing a nun on a bus
He's saying things to her like 'show me what's under that outfit' and 'I bet you're not wearing any underwear'. The nun is clearly uncomfortable and eventually clutches her bible to her chest and yells 'LORD PROTECT ME' and gets off the bus at the next stop.

The thug starts yelling abus...

Opioid abuse may have a downside...
But it also has its Percs.

One day she got the courage to call the police and have him taken away ...
upvote downvote report
What do you call an opioid abuser?
An oxymoron

Tom was stopped by the cops while walking home at 2am the other night.
The cop asked where him where he was going at that time of night. Tom replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Tom re...

"The average woman will receive verbal abuse six times a day," said my wife.
I said, "Honey, you're not the average woman. You're a million times what the average woman is."


While I was in mourning for the loss of my entire family, my friend told me, "momentarily increased intensity." I know he means "swell"
(they were abusers and he knows how much I love homophones)
A thrice divorced woman is giving love another try ...
Her first love abused her with his fists. The second one ran away. The third one completely failed in bed. But she still feels lonely and doesn't want to stop believing in love, so she posted an ad on a newspaper with her story that she was still available. A few days later, she heard the doorbell r...


A lion and lioness are just sitting in a jungle
A dog comes around and starts abusing them, the lioness asks the lion are you going to just listen or are you going to do anything about this disrespect. The lion ignores the lioness. The lioness couldn't take the abuse any more and starts chasing the dog.

The dog runs and runs and enters a t...
My doctor asked me if I abuse drugs and alcohol
I said "why would I abuse the two things I love more than anything"?

Title of my new book about how I used to abuse my wife.
The Hits and the Mrs.

Why aren’t people more open about their domestic abuse situations?
Beats me

What do you call a prescription opioid abuser who realise their stupidity but won't stop anyway?
an oxymoron
upvote downvote report
I adopted a duck with a substance abuse problem.
He’s addicted to quack.

She named the baby girl "Love" inspired in the same spirit as Carol's unique name.

Unfortunately, Love grew up and endured much of the same teasing that Carol did, because of her strange name.

When i was little I had a pet rock I was always very strict on him about drug abuse
because i was afraid that he would be a stoner.

I’ve suffered from so much racist abuse today, with people yelling at me to “go home” and “go back where you came from.”
It really spoiled my giant get-together with all my friends in the park.

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” Demanded his parents. “We know how much a Porsche costs!”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

I would slap you but that would be animal abuse (▼へ▼メ) (▼へ▼メ) (▼へ▼メ) (▼へ▼メ)

You know whats the worst about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull her hair when you hit it from the back

Guess that’s why he’s called (Hit)ler.
what has 2 legs 2 arms and a abusive father

Farce Abuse: I read the report on the sexual abuse of minors in the Catholic church. These are all examples of verbal abuse disguised as jokes. I adopted a duck with a substance abuse problem. His denial of your experience of his abuse adds another layer to his abuse.

 


Print