Jokes about Asexual

Jokes about Asexual

I was just wondering, there are plenty of jokes about sexual...things, so are there any jokes about or regarding asexuals, or asexuality? Such as
      Quote
    My computer is asexual, it has no sex drive.

 

Lets see if I can type a joke.
Guy 1: Nice bicycle man. Is it new? Where'd you get it?
Guy 2: Dude, the weirdest thing. I was just walking down the street and this very attractive woman on a bike stopped in front of me, dropped the bike, stripped naked and said: "Take whatever you want big boy"
Guy 1: Good call. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway.
...I don't like typing out jokes. It messes with the delivery :( And I can't do voices and impressions and such. Fail.

Whenever I hear that one I like to respond, "If your homework was asexual it would multiply."
Yeah, wouldn't that be a more apt description for autosexual than asexual?
Not if you're talking about asexual reproduction, which is what the original joke is about.

Not really a joke, but still funny:
Allo:If you're a virgin, how can you be sure you're asexual?
Ace: If you've never had sex with a woman, how can you be sure you're not a lesbian?

I believe there was a joke on here somewhere about "swings". I loved it so much I decided I had to use that as well. My friend said something and I told her "you know I don't swing that way." To which she replied "you don't really swing anywhere... You just sorta sit there." And I responded with: "well it's a really comfy swing."

I dont know why but it doesnt let put a spoiler up so just skip if you dont like sex jokes:
You and me are just like a spoon and a tea cup, its warm inside but I dont feel anything.

Of course, no discussion about asexuality and humor can leave out the chapter from the Bogaert book.  In Understanding Asexuality, Anthony Bogaert devotes an entire chapter to talking about sex jokes and how asexual people are probably incapable of understanding them (not that he bothers to actually talk to any of us about it).  Since we had a group of aces at the table, talking about jokes, we had to test his hypothesis.  The chapter begins with a joke involving a dentist, a patient who is apparently immune to sedatives or anesthetics, and a dangerous off-label use of a prescription drug that would almost certainly lead to the dentist having their medical license revoked.  The joke was told.  There was, in fact, not much laughing at the joke.  However, when someone remarked “I’ve had sex that hasn’t lasted as long as the setup for that joke”, the table erupted.

Jokes about Asexual: I was just wondering, there are plenty of jokes about sexual...things, so are there any jokes about or regarding asexuals, or asexuality? Of course, no discussion about asexuality and humor can leave out the chapter from the Bogaert book. Whenever I hear that one I like to respond, "If your homework was asexual it would multiply."


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