"Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
A guy's talking to a girl in a bar.
He asks her, "What's your name?"
She says, "Carmen."
He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?"
She says, "No, I named myself."
He says, "Why Carmen?"
She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?"
He says, "Beerfuck."
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy.
Why can't you hear rabbits making love? Because they have cotton balls.
A guy takes his girlfriend to his bedroom, drops his pants, and says, "Meet my little brother." The girlfriend picks up her purse on the way out and says, "Call me when he grows up."
A patient says, “Doctor, can I get AIDS from a toilet seat?” The doctor replies, “Yes, but only by sitting down before the last guy gets up.”
One night, Penis and Balls were sitting in a couch. Penis said to Balls, "We are going to a party. Balls said, "F*ck off, you always leave me knocking."
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone. He is now playing the whore-Monica.
A lady sitting in the dentist chair told the dentist, "I would rather go through the pain of child birth than have you drill in my mouth." The dentist replied, "Well, you had better make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some marijuana.
Jack and Jill slipped down the hill and asked Jill if she wanna.
She said "Yes" and dropped her dress and had a little fun.
Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son.
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a vacuum?
A: A cocksucker.
There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy and asked him, "Can I touch it?" He replied, "No way -- you already broke yours off!"
Q: What's the difference between a voyeur and a thief?
A: A thief snatches your watch.
Mom said joe can i have a shower with you tonight? yes honey but don't look up!
when they got in the shower joe looked up and asked what is that mum? mom said
it is Tokyo!the next day the same thing happened but this time he asked his dad
when they took a shower he looked up and asked what is that? it is a huge dinosaur! that night he asked both his parents can i sleep with you tonight? sure they said so they all hopped in bed and joe looked under the covers and said OH NO THE DINOSAUR IS ATTACKING TOKYO!