Pussy Jokes

Q: What do KFC and pussy have in common? A: Both are finger lickin' good and after you are done eating you have a box to put the bone in.

 

Pedro lives in an orphanage. One day Pedro is heading towards town with his hands claped together, when the padre who runs this orphanage asks Pedro, "What do you have in your hands and where are you going?" Pedro replies, "Father, I have horseflies and I am going to town to get horses." Sure enough later Pedro comes back with two beautiful Arabians. Next day Pedro walks past the priest again with the same question, "Pedro, what do you have in your hand and where are you going?" Pedro replies once again, "Father I have butter and I am going to town to get butterflies." Sure enough Pedro returns with beautiful monarch butterflies. The very next day Pedro is headed towards town once again when the Priest asks the same question, "Pedro what do you have in your hands and where are you going?" Again Pedro replies, "Father I have Pussy willows-" "Wait, Pedro!" says the Priest, "I'll go with you!!"

 

A man is in a lift (elevator) with a beautiful woman. he looks her up and down, leans forward and says to her “Excuse me, but can I smell your pussy?”
“Certainly not!” she replies “It must be your feet then.” says the man.

 

What do you do when your cat's dead? Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.

 

My girlfriend came out of the shower and said "I shaved my pussy, you know what that means? I said "yeah, the drain is clogged again. "

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop".

 

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

 

A gay says: "Dick has been made only for the ass; if it was suitable for pussy it should be made like an axe!

 

If God hadn't meant the pussy to be eaten, he wouldn't have made it look like a taco.

 

If God made anything better than pussy he kept it for himself.

 

“An old man and his wife are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the old lady bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super pussy!" And the old man says, "I'll have the soup.”

 

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop"

 

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

 

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

 

Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are.
The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy."
The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine."
It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."


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