Sexual Valentine's Day Cards | Love & Sex

Why did the coworker get charged with sexual harassment on Valentine's Day?
Because he had a heart on.
For Valentine's Day, I booked the most expensive table at a restaurant that's named after the underworld.
When my girlfriend asked me where we were eating, I told her I'd reserved a special place in Hell for us.

My girlfriend gave me a Valentine's Day card
Silly girl disguised it as a restraining order

Happy Valentine's.
For the past twenty years, I've received a Valentine's card from the same secret admirer. So, I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year.
First my granny dies, now this?

My hallway is absolutely full of Valentine cards today...
I really am a lazy bastard of a postman.
My wife said she wants a divorce for Valentine's day.
I wasn't planning to spend that much..

I used to open so many cards on Valentines Day.
Eventually the post office fired me for it.

I need to get a valentine's card for my lactose intolerant wife
But they're all too cheesy

The amount of Valentine's day cards I got this year has left me breathless.
Turns out the card shop has a security guard and he gives a good chase.

"My brother was telling me he received a Valentines day card today"
"Awe, he must've been thrilled. "

My girlfriend gave me a Valentine's Day card
Silly girl disguised it as a restraining order

High School on Valentine's Day
A high school thought it might be a fun activity to let the teenagers cut out paper hearts, put the name or wish of their valentine on the card anonymously, and hang them on a chainlink fence at the entrance of the school. Of course someone had to take them all off afterwards. So the day following V...
Can any redditor change a lightbulb on Valentine's Day?
Yes, since it needs only a single one to do it.

The amount of Valentine's day cards I got this year has left me breathless.
Turns out the card shop has a security guard and he gives a good chase.

For the last twenty years, I've received a Valentine's Day card from the same secret admirer...
So I was upset when I didn't get one this year. First my gran dies, now this?

I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourettes Society.
It's the thought that cunts!
I brought my girlfriend to Mexico for Valentine's Day.
I got arrested on the way back for snuggling her over the border.


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