Jokes about Sex - Honey

What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? "Honey, I'm home!"


Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

After a little "rebuilding" time he thought, if that was that good... "How much for sex?"
She chuckled and said, "Honey, I'd own this whole damned town if only I had a pussy."


A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open.
He asked, "Honey what are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."


“Honey”, says the wife to her husband, “last night I had the most AMAZING dream..I dreamed that we were making love and next to our bed there was a black man from Africa who was waving a fan to us and that gave me great satisfaction..”
The couple decided to make the dream come true, so they found a black man and offered him 200 euros to wave the fan to them while they made love.
The three of them went home and the couple started having sex while the black man was waving the fan.
But still the wife couldn’t get any satisfaction..So she proposed that they should change roles.
She would make love with the black man and the husband would wave the fan next to them.
The husband accepted and started waving the fan…

After a while, the wife screamed of pleasure and asked for more!
So the husband said to the black man: “Do you understand now how you should wave the fan, you ashole?”

Q: What are the three words you never wanna hear whilst having sex?
A: "Honey I'm home."

A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary:
Darling, have you been unfaithful to me?
Yes, honey, three times.
When was the first time?
Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit?
And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you.
Thanks, darling.
And when was the second time?
Do you remember when you were very ill and nobody would agree to make the surgery for you?
And finally the head of the department took care of you?
Thank you darling, you saved my life.
And with whom have you been unfaithful to me for the third time?
Do you remember when you were a candidate to the position of city mayor and you were missing 36 votes?

A man was talking to his wife about going to the social security office.
He said he would go the next day.
So the next morning he goes but when he gets there he realized he forgot his license and she said that was fine she could tell his age by the hair on his chest. So he opened his shirt and everything went smoothly.
He got home and told his wife what happened and she said: "well honey if you would have pulled down your pants you could have filed for disability."

Sex jokes about hoeny: How much for sex? What are the three words you never wanna hear whilst having sex?  Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.


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