Halloween Jokes - Adult Halloween Jokes - Halloween Online

“Q: How did the woman learn her boyfriend was a vampire?
 A: He only came at night and would insist on giving oral the same time every month.”

Q: What’s unique about sex with vampires?
A: They only come at night.

Q: What do Royalty and gourds have in common?
A: They both pump-kin.

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly, one said to the other, ‘A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?’ The other monster replied, ‘Be a gentleman, and roll them back to her.’

Are you a jack-o-lantern? Because you’re lighting up the room.

I’ll get your heart racing faster than a haunted house.

I could make the hairs on your neck stand up.

Q: Why do skeletons enjoy sex with dainty women?
 A: They like to bone a petite.”

Q: What did the vampire say to the teacher?
A: See you next period.”

Q: What health insurance do Halloween creatures use?
A: Medi-scare.

Q: Why do cemeteries have walls and fences?
A: Because people are always dying to get in.

Q: What is a vampire’s worst fear?
A: Tooth decay.

Q: Why was the vampire in a bad mood?
A: Too much B negative.

Q: What are two freshly married spiders called?
A: Newly-webbed.