Did you enjoy our collection of Halloween jokes for adults? Be sure to check out our other Funny Halloween Jokes. We also have Ghost Jokes, Pumpkin Jokes and Skeleton Jokes for Halloween humor fans.

Enjoying these jokes so far? Want something a little harder? Check out 32 Halloween Riddles for more complicated, mind-bending fun.

Q: What do skeletons call a raging fun party?
A: An osteoblast!

I got so sick of trick-or-treaters on Halloween night that I finally turned off all the lights and pretended I wasn’t home.

I’m not saying my son is ugly…
But on Halloween he went to tell the neighbors to turn down their TV and they gave him some candy.

“Q: How did the woman learn her boyfriend was a vampire?
 A: He only came at night and would insist on giving oral the same time every month.”

Q: What’s unique about sex with vampires?
A: They only come at night.

Q: What do Royalty and gourds have in common?
A: They both pump-kin.

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly, one said to the other, ‘A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?’ The other monster replied, ‘Be a gentleman, and roll them back to her.’

Adult Halloween Jokes

Q: Where should I go to learn about bones?
A: Osteoclass

Be sure to check out our Top Halloween Decoration List for 2021 to see our favorite decorations this year!

Q: Why did the ghost go to the bar?
A: To get sheet faced.

Q: What do Dracula’s girlfriend and a professional boxer have in common?
A: They both go down for The Count

Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!

Messaging a new match can seem scarier than any horror movie. How do you catch their attention? Is a simple "hey" too casual, or not casual enough? How many emoji should you add? It's enough to freak anyone out.

“Q: Why don’t you ever have an unexpected pregnancy when dating a  vampire?
A: Because they can’t come inside without asking for permission.”

“1900: Dracula survived by drinking the blood of virgins.
2021: Dracula dies of hunger.”

Q: What should you give a pumpkin who can’t quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin Patch.

Q: Why don’t you ever have an unexpected  pregnancy when dating a vampire.
A: Because they can’t come inside without asking permission.

Are you dressed as “the most attractive person here?”

If I were a zombie, I’d eat you first.

Let’s take this party back to my coffin.

You must be made of candy because you look sweet.

Want to find out what I turn into at midnight?

Person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else, you already are.

Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

Want to check my pants for a treat?

I’m a vampire...permission to bite your neck?

Want to get tangled in my spider web tonight?

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite part of sex?
A: Edraculating.

Q: Why do we carve pumpkins at Halloween?
A: Because they have less blood and aren’t as messy as animals.

Q: What is the witch’s favorite crime show?
A: America’s Most Haunted.

Q: What do you call it when a vampire has a serious problem in his home?
A: It’s a Grave problem.

I’m not going as a ghost this year, but you can still get under my sheets.

Q: What happened to the man who got behind on payments to his exorcist?
A: He got repossessed.

Q: Why don’t witches have babies?
A: Their husbands have crystal balls.

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

Q: What’s a skeleton’s favorite board game?
A: Tibial Pursuit.

Q: Why do skeletons make good comedians?
A: They are two humerus.