“Q: How did the woman learn her boyfriend was a vampire?
 A: He only came at night and would insist on giving oral the same time every month.”

Q: What’s unique about sex with vampires?
A: They only come at night.

Q: What do Royalty and gourds have in common?
A: They both pump-kin.

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly, one said to the other, ‘A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?’ The other monster replied, ‘Be a gentleman, and roll them back to her.’

Want to check my pants for a treat?

I’m a vampire...permission to bite your neck?

Want to get tangled in my spider web tonight?

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite part of sex?
A: Edraculating.

Q: Why do we carve pumpkins at Halloween?
A: Because they have less blood and aren’t as messy as animals.

Q: What is the witch’s favorite crime show?
A: America’s Most Haunted.

Q: What do you call it when a vampire has a serious problem in his home?
A: It’s a Grave problem.