Day Sex Jokes - 2020.01.15

What do you say to a virgin?
Thanks for nothing!

There's something actionable in your pants.

Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.

Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her.
Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her.
Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.

While making love, he says: Darling, let's do 68!
What's that?
You do it to me and I'll owe you one.

Three prisoners are locked in a cell.
One takes out a harmonica and says, ‘At least I can play a little music and pass the time.’
The second prisoner pull out a pack of cards and says, ‘We can play games too.’
The third man pulls out a packet of tampons.
‘Those aren’t much use,’ says the first prisoner.
‘Yes they are,’ says the third prisoner.
‘On the packet it says we can use them to swim, play tennis and ski.’

Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds?
A: That they are twenty…

Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted?
A: He needs to change his pants afterward.

Q: What does a  blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked  at  the balcony?
A: The blond girl told him to come outside

Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.

Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.

Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shit got started..."

How can you tell if your girlfriend’s frigid?
When you open her legs, the lights go on.

Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow. Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny.

Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition.
The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ.
Aaron, you see what I am seeing?
Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine.
That long?
No, that dead.

‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’

The chicken and the egg are laying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.
The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".

Day sex jokes: We found her and all of us made sex with her. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ