"Miracle on [insert your street name]."
The Santa at the shopping mall was quite surprised when he saw Martha, a woman in her mid-twenties, asking to sit on his lap. We all know Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled at him very nicely and he ended up asking her what she wanted for Christmas.
“Something for my mother, please,” she replied.
“Something for your mother? That’s very loving and thoughtful of you,” smiled Santa. “What would you like me to bring her?”
Emily answered quickly, “A son-in-law.”
Christmas jokes for adults
When you want to get naughty with your partner:
I’m not Santa, but do you want to sit on my lap and tell me what you want this Christmas?
Do you like the song “Jingle Bells”? Because we could go all the way.
How about I shimmy down your chimney tonight?
Let’s make this a not-so-silent night.
We don’t need a sleigh, you can ride me instead.
Wanna see the toys the elves make for adults?
Let’s both be naughty and save Santa the trip tonight.
Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.
I just got some mistletoe, how about we go back to my place and try it out?
I know what gift I want to give you tonight.
Santa jokes adults
Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Because he knows better than to try the back door.
I love this time of year.
You can slam your laptop shut when your partner walks into the room and you don’t get any disgusted looks.
Is your name Jingle Bells?
Cause you look ready to go all the way.
Little boy: Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother
Santa: Send me your mother
Why was the elf having trouble with his libido?
He had low elf-esteem.
Wanna Scrooge?
Are you tinsel? Because I want you all over my tree.
Wanna meet Santa’s little helper?
Do you live in an igloo? Because you seem like a pretty cool person.
Let’s make this a not-so-silent night.
I take romance to a new level — I don’t cuddle; I hibernate.
Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses.
Q: What's the difference between Santa and a knight?
A: One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.
Q: What do the female reindeer do when the guys are out working?
A: They go into town and blow a few bucks.
Adult Santa Christmas Sex Jokes: Wanna see the toys the elves make for adults? We all know Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled at him very nicely and he ended up asking her what she wanted for Christmas.
