I only know this one liner I got from a friend:
"I wish my homework was asexual so it would do itself" --but that's not really asexuality is it? I still find it hilarious though...

    Whenever I hear that one I like to respond, "If your homework was asexual it would multiply."
Yeah, wouldn't that be a more apt description for autosexual than asexual?

Otherwise known as an ace attorney.
Asexual joke, An asexual lawyer
My boyfriend just told me he's asexual

A guy in a sexy outfit walks into an asexual's house.
"I'm here to work your wood" he says in a seductive manor.
The asexual shows him to a table with a broken leg.
"Fix it. You can work my wood right?" Says the asexual.

Ultimately, you can’t know someone’s aversion until you ask, and that can be a personal question. My advice is, when in doubt, don’t make the joke.

Fuckin' nothin'.
Asexual joke, What's an asexual person's favorite thing to do in the bedroom?
Five asexual people are playing cards

and b) gay
Homework should be asexual...

Nothing turns it on.
i caught my asexual girlfriend cheating on me with my bestfriend

The problem is that I'm Pan.

In my dorm, there's a really popular game called One Night Werewolf, which has a really long explanation of rules that I won't go into here, but involves giving everyone a card and then having them participate in the game in a certain way depending on what card they get. During the game, everyone's eyes are closed, and the roles get called out in order by card. I came out to the core group of people who usually play that game by saying "Technically, this should be me all the time" when the ace was called.

How many asexuals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
...actually..not sure how it goes :lol:
something about "we dont screw"
-fails

How many asexuals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What about "Actually they'd really rather not." ?

Then, there is sex-indifference. These people are still asexual, and can even enjoy sex, but they have no desire to start it themselves. They can do it to please a partner, but beyond that or taking care of a libido they’re usually just…meh. You can joke about sex around these people, and may get a few chuckles, but you won’t get offended or disgusted stares (at least not because of their level of repulsion).

Trick question: asexuals don't screw anything.
What's an asexual person's favorite thing to do in the bedroom?

How can you tell an asexual designed a street?
"The not enter signs at all intersections."

How many Asexuals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Quite a few actually, one to change it, and the rest to put labels on the ones that didn't fit!
I also quite like this answer:
    It doesn't matter how many you have, they aren't interested in screwing anything!
I don't get the first one. What do they mean by labels?
I also don't get this one: Why do some Asexuals enjoy hanging around super-markets? Because they like being surrounded by labels!