I love dangerous sex, in fact, I masturbate with no hand.
A penis is like a Rubik's Cube - the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
It is always the wrong time of month.
Why was the blonde so disappointed when she got her license? She had gotten an F in sex!
Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.
Intimacy is selfish: into me see.
Weak men have a lover, strong men – three.Doctor: "You need to stop masturbating."
Patient: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I would like to start the exam."
All panties aside, it's Friday.
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a carpenter? A carpenter can cover up the holes he screws.
What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? They both drip when they're fucked.
You're the cumshot that your mom wanted to swallow but your dad couldn't pull out in time.
Please cooperate otherwise it gonna look like rape.
“A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit." ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦”
“Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, "Yep, it's gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, no. I just burped.”
“A guy walks into a bar and asks for a whiskey. The bartender says "single?" And the guy replies, "No—happily married, but curious.”
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Once you open it, you realize it's half-empty.
What is a Jewish person's first discount?
10% off the penis.
Sex jokes #2022: So ugly people would have a chance to have sex. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. I love dangerous sex.
