They are going to play golf at the business meeting.
The guy flies out there a day early.
He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha.
He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for.
He takes her in back and starts doing his thing.
The girl starts going crazy.
She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!"
He thinks, "This girl is loving this."
Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one.
He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!"
The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
A woman enters her kitchen and finds her husband motionless with a fly-kill in his hand.
— What are you doing ? — she asks.
— I'm chasing the flies — he replies.
— Oh ! How many have you killed ? — she asks.
— 3 males, 2 females — he answers.
Intrigued, she asks:
— How can you differentiate between males and females?
— 3 were on a can of beer, 2 were on the phone.
À la pharmacie, la vendeuse dit :
— On a des shampooings pour les cheveux gras, des shampooings pour les cheveux secs, des shampooings pour les cheveux normaux...
Le client demande :
— En avez-vous pour des cheveux sales ?
Layla Jones said: “Imagine his disappointment when you tell him you’ve crashed though.”
A man called Kaine suggested she got “Straight in the Uber.”
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.
A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father. The wife says, "Oh, that's actually better." The husband says he can't feel anything. Then the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it doesn't hurt nearly as much. The husband says he sill can't feel anything. The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%. The husband still can't feel anything, and the wife is really happy, because there is now no pain for her. The baby is born. The couple go home and find the postman groaning in pain on the doorstep.
An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.” “I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”
Flies jokes about sex: I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!