Valentines Day – The Joke Cafe

"But why?" asked Mike. "Valentine's Day Joke"
Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scen...

Valentine’s Day is about to become a religious holiday, because you’re gonna be screaming, “Oh God!” all night.

I choo-choo-choose you to stay in bed with me all day.

I don’t want any stuffed animals. Today, I just want you to stuff me.

Roses are red Violets are blue My knickers get wet Just thinking of you.

When you are with the right person, every day is Valentine's Day! Happy Valentines day, hope you all get some...... Chocolates that is My thoughts and prayers go out to all men today whose girlfriends are on their period this Valentines day.

A guy walks into a bar on Valentine's Day and orders a beer.
A guy walks into a bar on Valentine's Day and orders a beer. "Last night my wife woke me up to tell me that she dreamed that I bought her a big, expensive diamond ring for Valentine's Day, and she wondered if that dream meant anything." "What did you tell her?" the bartender asks. "I gave her a pass...
What does Fiona let Shrek do on Valentine's Day?
Smash Mouth

Are you still Dating?
Before marriage you are Dating

What is the true purpose of Valentine's Day?

Having your period on Valentine's day
Is a pain in the ass

My Eastern European girlfriend bought me some flowers for Valentine’s Day.
They were from Russia with Love

By now Mike’s curiosity had got...

If you are not in love on Valentine's Day, don't worry.
You don't have to be dead on Halloween, either.

How did the Star Wars fan spend Valentine's Day?

My Valentine is like the square root of -100...
A 10, but imaginary

I bought my girlfriend a pink vibrator for valentines day.
She told me as long as she has me she won't need it. I told her "actually that's what I'm here to talk about"

Bought my wife a matching bag and belt for Valentine’s Day.
She should be able to fix the vacuum cleaner and get it running now.

The other men were confused until he said: “I got her a white sports car!”

What does Fiona let Shrek do on Valentine's Day?
Smash Mouth

Have you guys heard Radiohead is releasing a Valentine's Day album?
It's called OK Cupid.

What do single people call Valentine's Day?
Happy Independence Day

For valentine's day, I gave my wife a back-rub.
I told her, "Wow, they did a good job... when they removed your wings."
I kissed her forehead and whispered, "They did a good job on the horns too!"

My wife said she wants a divorce for Valentine's day.
I wasn't planning to spend that much..

I didn’t know that angels can fly so low on earth.

What did her beloved painter tell her? “I love you with all my art!”

Do the holidays celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they are very fragrant!

Valentine’s day jokes

Why is salad the most loving vegetable? Because it is whole-hearted.

How did he get his girlfriend’s phone? He gave her a ring.

valentines day puns

No matter what happened. No matter what you did. No matter what you do. I will always love you. I swear.

For me, Valentine’s Day is significant. I say it is imperative because, on this day, I received from my boyfriend/girlfriend the most beautiful gift, a driver.

Valentine’s day jokes for adults
What did the boy’s face say about the girl’s face? Can I hold my hand?

I thought that was an awesome trade
If I worked in a restaurant....

Roses are red
Violets are blue
No, they are violet
How do single people honor valentine's day?

Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching and Little Johnny was anxious to receive and give Valentine cards during his classroom party,..

Bend over Babe ’cause here comes my Willy!

And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

I'm gonna spend Valentine 's Day with my ex... Box 360.

What is the Better Than Revenge TikTok trend?
The “Better Than Revenge” TikTok Trend, Explained

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sherwood who?
Sherwood like to be your Valentine!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine!

Seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day I popped the question this morning to my girlfriend

Ladies that don’t know what to get your man for valentines day, I have your answer…Forget the cutesy stuff!!! Get alcohol, feed him Red Meat and have sex with him wearing red and pink. Trust me I’m a guy…
You did not have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don’t have a mother on mother’s day or a father on father’s day so shut up.

A candlelight dinner with long stemmed roses sounds like a deadly combination for my inflatable valentine.



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