A little boy walks into his parents' room while they're having sex. The boy asks, "What are you doing?" The mother explains, "Your daddy was full of air, so I was jumping on him to get it out." The boy says, "That's funny. Every time you leave for work, your sister comes and blows him right back up."
I hate when someone wants to have sex with me for superficial reasons before they even know how funny.
Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. And funny in a way that like, opens your mind up even," says comedian Sean Patton. "That's the most important kind of comedy, where you laugh at something to the point where you're now a little more accepting of it. And that can range from anything to other people's sexual orientation to accepting your own mental illness." Patton’s own extended dick joke, "Cumin" on Comedy Central’s This Is Not Happening, has been viewed over 2 million times on YouTube.
Dick jokes continue to thrive off audience reactions, according to several comedians I talked to. Bonnie McFarlane, who is best known for her appearance on Last Comic Standing and her Netflix documentary Women Aren’t Funny, began telling dick jokes when she started out in 1995. "You tell dick jokes because it’s a very male audience, so that’s what they want to hear about," she says. "It’s been a thing since comedy started. People can really kill if they’re just doing dick jokes." But there is a double standard, she says, when female comics are made fun of "for talking about their vaginas too much."
I asked my wife why did she marry me.
Wife: "Because you are funny."
Me: "I thought it was beacause I was good in bed?"
Wife: "You see? You're hilarious."
6 year old kid looking at Mom's ID card.
Mom: "Whats so funny?"
Kid: "I can't believe you're so bad in sex that you failed in it."
Husband died laughing.
A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex.
The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying.
"You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother.
The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation.
After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy.
As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room.
Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump.
The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole.
Just really going to town on it.
The father screams "What the hell are you doing?"
The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge.
As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed.
Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!"
A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!"
I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
Funny jokes about sex: A little boy walks into his parents' room while they're having sex. I can't believe you're so bad in sex that you failed in it. And that can range from anything to other people's sexual orientation to accepting your own mental illness.