An old drunk walks in the the toughest biker bar. He immediately Scans the crowd until he find the toughest biker in the bar
The guy is a Monster or a man and looks very dangerous. The old drunken man sits down on a bar stool next to him and says loudly, “Hey buddy! Hey! Tough guy! Why don’t you buy me a beer before I go home and go bang your mom!”
The crowd goes silent; they know this biker has killed for far less. But he just sits there turning red. The old guy continues: “You know I banged your mom last week too! She LOVED it!!”
Again, the crowd waits for the big biker to kill the olds drunk. But he just sits there getting angrier and angrier. The old man says: “I’m going to give it to her so hard tonight! She won’t walk right after I’m done with her! What do you think about that, big guy??”
Suddenly the massive biker stands up, spins the old drunk towards him, grabs his shoulders and says “Goddamit dad, go home! You’re drunk!”

What goes clop clop clop, bang bang, clop clop clop
An Amish drive by shooting.


It looks like this election won't end with a bang
But with a WI/MI/PA

So i banged my 3rd cousin yesterday...
My buddy told me to stop counting them

My landlord was banging on my door and yelling to me all morning.
I suppose I should let him out.

Every Inside Joke on The Big Bang Theory, Alphabetized.

“Smart? I’d Have To Lose 60 IQ Points To Be Classified As Smart!”
Our old friend Dr. Sheldon Cooper is a lot of things (a lot), but modest certainly isn’t one of them. Simply knowing he’s a genius isn’t enough. He wants everyone to know he’s more of a genius than his genius friends, and he often goes to great lengths to prove it.
When he’s belittled by Leonard’s latest girlfriend, fellow scientist Lesley Winkle, he declares her his arch-enemy and refuses to stay in the apartment while she’s there. Out on the stairs with his laptop, he meets Penny and announces (in true Sheldon style) that he preferred her relationship with Leonard so she should get right back to it. Penny starts to explain that somebody as smart as Sheldon must understand that feelings don’t work that way, before he takes offense at the word ‘smart’ and brushes her off.