I love Valentines Day. The bottle of wine. The Heart-Shaped Ice Cream Cake...
Taking them home and eating them alone while crying and watching youtube videos.
Get over here and eat my heart-shaped box.
I got you a heart-shaped box… in my pants.
The butler was impressed but asked, “why two gifts for your wife, sir?”
I'm finally going on a Date this valentine's Day
I wish I could post this in another subreddit.
“Oh, what’s it called?” asks the other man enthusiastically.
What do you get your mom for Valentine’s?
An Oedipal arrangement
I said, “well, I kinda thought we’d put them in a vase.”
19 minutes until Valentines
If I kill myself right now, I'll get flowers later.
A guy walks into a bar on Valentine's Day and orders a beer.
A guy walks into a bar on Valentine's Day and orders a beer. "I asked my wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day. She said a divorce," the guy tells the bartender. "Oh, no. What did you do?" the bartender asks. "I just told her I hadn't planned on spending that much," the guy replies.
To remind single people that they are single.
Valentine's day
Imagin how many people will be shaving tonight.
Roses are red, violets are blue…valentine’s crap is over now don’t you have some ironing to do
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
Brace yourselves!! The flowers, candy and jewellery mobile uploads are upon us…..
Dear Cupid, next time hit us both.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Emma
Emma who?
Emma hoping I get lots of cards on Valentine’s Day!
Q: You wanna hear a joke?
A: Valentine's Day
I didn't know angels could fly so low.
What would you call a woman who goes out with You? Desperate!
Roses are Stupid, Violets are Silly!
But he took special care and time in hand-making two special cards for these two sweethearts in his life.
By Celibating!
My missus asked me where her Valentine's day card was.
"Nah, you're ugly"
on Valentines Day I'd put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
The Meaning of dreams
Two lovers, the girl and the boy, were walking on those in a park.Suddenly, the boy, knowing that Valentine’s Day is coming, stops and asks his girlfriend:
What do you call a tiny valentine? A valentine.
Get married early in the morning, not at the 60s.
Sexual Valentines day jokes VIDEO