"Let's make sure you get something off your wish-list tonight."
Q: What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?
A: Their balls are ornamental.
Q: What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Keep an eye out for elves with ropes and a blindfold! Why? Cause I asked Santa for you this Christmas.
Baby, we need to get together before Christmas — because you can’t spell “love” with No-el.
If you wake up in a box tomorrow morning, it’s cause I asked for the sexiest person in the world for Christmas. Dear Santa, I would like a new birth suit this year. The old one is wrinkly and sagging.
Are you Rudolph’s red nose? Because baby, I would say you glow.
You make me more excited than seeing gifts under a Christmas tree.
Girl, if you come to my house on Black Friday, all clothes will be 100 percent off.
I don’t care if I’m on your naughty list or your nice list; I just want to be on your to-do list.
Ever do it in a sleigh?
Come sit on my lap. I’ve got a special gift just for you.
Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.
Even Santa can’t make candy as sweet as you.
Hi, Santa said you wished for me. Good choice.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
To keep her off the North Pole.
Dear Santa, I would like a new birth suit this year. The old one is wrinkly and sagging. Thank you!
Santa saw your Instagram photos. You’re getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.
What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.
Why does Santa always have a full sack?
Because he only comes once a year!
Are you Christmas? ‘Cause I wanna merry you!
Are you Hall? Cause I wanna deck the Hall.
Sexy Christmas Jokes (2021): If you wake up in a box tomorrow morning, it’s cause I asked for the sexiest person in the world for Christmas. Dear Santa, I would like a new birth suit this year. The old one is wrinkly and sagging. Thank you!