If you don’t like Valentine’s Day because it’s corny… how about, instead, we make it porn-y?

Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener. I’m like butter, you can spread me anytime. You make me feel like a unicorn – wild and horny.

Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!" What did the valentines day card say to the stamp? Stick with me and you'll go places What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hogs and kisses! Roses are red, violets are blue.