Keep it light- The trick to making your loved one laugh (even at themselves) is to joke about stuff that’s not so important.
Include a pun- Rarely offensive and so cheesy that you just have to laugh, puns are a safe option when cracking a joke on Valentine's Day.
Any dude who waits for Valentines Day to treat his woman like a Queen is failing 364 days a year.
Fellas: Make it a Valentine’s Day she’ll always remember by simply forgetting it.
Dear people posting pics of things they got for Valentine’s Day: Please stop it! Spare us the cheesiness and keep that sh!t to yourself. Sincerely, Single People
Valentines Day – Drinks: $80. Dinner: $75. The room: $250. The look on his face when she says “I’m on my period”: Priceless.
Google… qrt(cos(x))*cos(300x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.7)*(4-x*x)^0.01, sqrt(6-x^2), -sqrt(6-x^2) from -4.5 to
If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.
It’s kind of fcuked up that Valentine’s Day is the only socially acceptable time to trade sexual favors for gifts.
Hearts and roses and kisses galore, What the hell is all of that shit for? People get mushy and start acting queer, It is definitely the most annoying day of the year. This day needs to get the hell over with and pass, Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid’s ass! I’ll spend the day so drunk that I just can’t speak, And wear only black for the rest of the week
Happy Valentine's
Roses are red,.
Violets are blue.
If he's busy on Valentine's,
The side-piece is you!
A Valentine's day haiku for you all....
Love is in the air,
So is coronavirus,
Wash your fucking hands.
What’s four inches long and not getting sucked on Valentine’s Day?
Whitney Houston’s crack pipe.
For Valentine's Day I made a chart of past relationships....
It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.
For Valentines Day, I’m getting anal.
My husband is going to clean the kitchen MY way, no matter how clean he thinks it is.
This Valentine's Day, 1 in 3 people will be crying into a bag of popcorn while watching Netflix alone.
Not me, though. I can't afford a subscription.
Three wealthy men were sitting at a bar the day after valentines day
The first man declared: “I love my wife so much I got her something that goes from 0 to a 100 in 4 seconds!”
Cheesy Valentine's Day Jokes