What do snowmen use to make snowbabies?
Snowballs.
One Christmas, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus saying, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Claus wrote him back, “Okay, please send me your mother.”
Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty women live.
Wanna see the North Pole?
That’s what Mrs. Claus calls it…
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…
Are you Christmas? Because I want to Merry you.
Hi, Santa said you wished for me. Good choice.
Can you hold my gloves for a second? I usually warm them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
Is your name Jingle Bells? ‘Cause you look like you go all the way.
Good tidings aren’t the only thing I can give you.
Of all the magnetic poles in the world, you had to walk into mine.
How about I shimmy down your chimney tonight?
How about you show me peace on earth and I’ll show you goodwill toward men?
My bedroom is the warmest place for 500 miles. Looks like we have to head there if we want to stay warm.
Q: What do you call a broke Santa?
A: Saint Nickel-less
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.
Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
A: Because the present's beneath them.
Q: How do snowmen make babies?
A: Snowballs, of course.
If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, do you mind if I visit between the holidays?
"I'm going to jingle your bells."
"I'm going to ride you like a reindeer."
"Tonight I'll be a real Nutcracker."
"Let's Scrooge."
What do a train set and your wife’s breasts have in common?
They were both made for kids but you can’t help playing with them.
What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
Whatever the hell you want. He can’t hear you.
As I was paying the cashier for my Christmas tree, he asked, “Are you going to put that up yourself?”
I said, “No, I’m putting it up in the living room.”
Why was the snowman smiling?
He could see the snowblower coming down the street.
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.
Why does Santa Claus like to get naughty after coming down the chimney?
Because it soots him.
Why is Santa so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
I’ve checked twice and I’m sure you’re on my naughty list.
Let’s both be naughty this year and save Santa the trip.
Naughty Christmas Sex Jokes (Pick Up Lines): Because he knows where all the naughty women live. I’ve checked twice and I’m sure you’re on my naughty list. Why does Santa Claus like to get naughty after coming down the chimney?