To understand the difference between regular joking and abusive “joking,” it is crucial to first understand the societal systems that might make some people confuse the two, or believe they are one and the same.

While these biases might be hindering, you can distinguish between true joking and abusive “joking” by paying attention to how the joke is received:

Jokes that make someone feel uncomfortable or hurt, or that specifically address something the other person asked not to discuss, are abusive.